Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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