remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
my poor anus
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
