Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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