What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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