I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
