Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize