what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
a search helicopter?!
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
