I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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