well you can't waste a boner
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
