We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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