Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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