Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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