I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
