man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
