I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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