the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
should my penis look like a turkey
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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