I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
