Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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