That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
