just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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