Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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