it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Randomize
