I'm going to jail i love you
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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