white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
