How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
