woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize