don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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