You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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