I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
