I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
