She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
