apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
