she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
