Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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