oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
