Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
