Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i wish my penis had a tongue
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize