Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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