I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
