dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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