Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
