I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
