I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
