We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
