PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
This is classic penis vs brain.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
