i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
