she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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