The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
