***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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