The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
