Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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