You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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