I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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