Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just want to make out with him forever
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
