so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
