All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
