I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Randomize