White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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