Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
