I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
